Do you ever just dream sometimes of things that you know in real life would never happen. The dream feels so real and of course you’re awake while doing this. Taking someone else’s life into my own head and putting myself and others I know into it. Why couldn’t that happen, what do I need to do?

I wish there were someone that would step in and give me directions on how to do this. I know where I would like to be but have no clue how to get there. If money were no object then it would be hopefully as simple as hiring someone  or taking a class to learn. But with money being an important part of every single decision that I make, it takes my dream and pushes it even more into my dream world.

Wanting to have someone “accidentally” run into me and help me with my life direction. How does that even happen anyway? Reading about this all the time happening to someone else and I’ll admit it; I’m jealous. Having been through so much in my life, it just seems right that sometimes I would catch a break. But no, the world has it’s own plan of keeping me right where I’m at.

Okay, no self pity, just sometimes I would like to have someone just once say that it’s going to be okay and that I’m doing the right things. It’s not just me that depends on it, I have those that I am still responsible for. It wasn’t by choice that I have these responsibilities, but I am so thankful to have them. These are things that happened and I would not change because I love having them in my life. But going forward; whatever happens I would love for them to benefit also. We’ve been down the road together and even though my door is shut on some of the harder things, they’ve still experienced the struggle.

I’m willing to work for it, that’s never not been an option. I would just once like to catch a break with it and truly feel like it could and is happening for us. A little taste of the dream would be nice every now and then.

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About meinaboxblog

I like to think I'm a normal everyday woman but my mind tells me otherwise. I fight my battles and post them here. I don't tell my family and real life friends that I write here. This is my own little way of having "someone" to talk to. My own little therapy session if you will. I welcome comments and opinions but I have enough negativity to last a lifetime already . My world is changing and now more than ever I need support and encouragement but I'm still too afraid to let anyone know that it's me writing here.