Bullet From an Unexpected

What is it that makes people change over time? We drift apart so far when we thought we would never be separable.  I’m not talking about going to kindergarten with someone and then changing schools. I’m talking about an adult friendship that feels like family and then one day you wake up and realize that the other person just doesn’t seem to care as much as you thought they did.

Yes, in this digital world that we live in, we tend to keep contact with the computer. But are words any less meaningful when written than when being said face to face? Of course, if you have something like “I love you” or ” We need to break up”, those should definitely be face to face conversations. But I’m talking about the everyday contact that we share.  Keeping up with how their day went or sharing a joke with each other, it still keeps the bond, or so I thought.

There is a person that I truly thought of as family, so much so that she attended my mothers funeral services. She’s been in my life for 22 years now. We’ve gone through illness together, the loss of our mothers and also really good times too.

I will say that since losing my mother, I’m not as outgoing as I used to be and I tend to focus more on my immediate family ie., my granddaughter. So to me, the digital world is a great way to keep in touch with people that I truly love. Granted there are some people that I used to work with on there that I have no real connection with anymore and I’m thinking about removing them. But, I sidelined there. When I sent a message to someone it is sent with true sincerity and meaning, just as if I was saying it to their face. I’ve never said anything offensive to her that I know of, and I’ve gone back to double check. But for some reason, I think she has decided to write off our friendship.

She is a very popular person and very well known in her industry so I know she doesn’t lack any attention from people. I’m not jealous, I just thought that my friendship meant more than it actually does. I’m glad she has friends and a lot of them because I think the world of her and hope others do too.

Is it that easy for someone just to let another person go? With decades invested in a friendship, how cold would a heart have to turn in order to just close off like this? It honestly took me by surprise as an attack from an unexpected.  My heart is broken, I thought that I had honestly cried all that I could but this left me sobbing. Why such an attack, what made the change?

I guess this just takes me back to thinking that I’m better off not having friends in my life. Why let people hurt me like this. I love meeting people but I guess I don’t have to keep them in my life. Maybe that’s how I need to start thinking? I don’t know.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

About meinaboxblog

I like to think I'm a normal everyday woman but my mind tells me otherwise. I fight my battles and post them here. I don't tell my family and real life friends that I write here. This is my own little way of having "someone" to talk to. My own little therapy session if you will. I welcome comments and opinions but I have enough negativity to last a lifetime already . My world is changing and now more than ever I need support and encouragement but I'm still too afraid to let anyone know that it's me writing here.