I used to think of things that I would tell people. Things that I tell them I want to do. It used to frighten me when the words would actually come out of my mouth. Normally I would say that I’m a private person but how would you know that by what I put here? In my everyday life, people that I come in contact with would not hear how I feel or my opinion on anything. In general, they might say I’m nice because I’m not rude or intrusive. My thoughts and feelings do not normally show or what they see is not truly how I feel.
So when I say something that truly rings in my heart, it is frightening. I’m bringing life to my thoughts by putting them out into the world. The power of the Universe is something that I put a bit of faith in so maybe that’s why I’m cautious with my words. Somehow, just simply saying the words will either make it a good thing or a bad thing depending on what is said.
Here is where I can say what I feel without the words actually coming from my mouth. But, does that truly make a difference; to the Universe that is? I mean, I am releasing the words from my mind into the keyboard so would that be the same as releasing it into sound? Does the Universe have ears that it has to be verbally released?
If that is the case then I would have to say that the Universe hears my thoughts? Or just that my thoughts create my direction? That makes sense to me as far as my thoughts because don’t we have to think about an idea before it’s made so why can’t something be in the back of your mind but still guiding your direction?
Maybe since I’ve been thinking about moving for a long time now and it’s really pushing in that direction. Outside influence has come into play but the thought has always been there since before my mother passed. She and I had planned on trying to move or have Extreme Home Makeover come in. We had actually filled out the application for the show and had yet to send it in when she went into the hospital. So I wonder, am I fulfilling my dream or hers? Is it a dream, wish or a need that we move. It is a definite need, there is no way that my granddaughter can grow up in a normal way here. I do dream about it and how it will be to actually have my windows open all over my house. The curtains blowing in the breeze from outside just like when I was a kid and would lay on the floor just watching and relaxing. Wish, I wish to be somewhere safe and enjoyable so it is also a wish to move.
Hopefully, in four to six months I should be writing from another home with another view to the outside world. A view that will include children playing in the yard like nothing is scary or dangerous. Now I have a hope to include my dream, wish and need.