What To Do

They say that religion is never a topic to bring up in a conversation but I think sometimes it’s needed. One of my sisters recently brought it up because she was arguing about one of my other sisters, I come from a family of 5 girls and 2 boys.

I have one sister, Elaine, that is going through some hard emotional things in her home but I found out about it when Louise sent me a text with a snarky remark. I didn’t react to it at first, I called Elaine to check on her and make sure she was doing as best as could be expected.  She knew right away how I found out but we’ve been really close and were able to talk about the situation she’s found her family facing.

After finishing speaking with Elaine, I answered the text to my sister Louise. It hurt me that she wouldn’t check on her own sister but instead chose the route of “spreading gossip”. In my text, I told her that I love her but was embarrassed that she chose the gossip route instead of thinking of family. I asked her to think about her actions before doing them as we earn our way into heaven.

This has to be why people say never to bring up religion because she went off. She said that as long as you take Jesus Christ into your life and accept him as your saviour then that is how you get into Heaven. I do believe you have to accept Jesus into your life but I also believe that when you do so, you are to try and reflect that into your everyday life. Maybe I’m not saying it right and I know that no one is ever perfect and I don’t think we have to be. However, I do think that we should do our best to be our best in how we treat other people. The saying of “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is something that I try to live by. Are there times in my life where my brain forgets and does it’s own thing, of course! If I realize it in time then I try to correct it but sometimes I don’t realize until it’s pointed out to me and I appreciate that someone does.

Then there is the aspect of being family. Here again, I’m not perfect as I have a younger sister, Dawn, that I am estranged from. She is the biological mother of my nephew with whom I raised and now have my granddaughter from. She has never been a mother to him, we thought that would change once she gave birth but it didn’t and she relied on everyone else to do the work as long as she got to show him off. She tried to take him to a bar one time when he was a baby and even my brother-in-law stepped in and stopped her. My mother raised him, with my back-up, until he was 15, she passed and I took over full-time. His mother seemed to think that I was going to take care of her also after my mother passed. I tried for over a year to get her on the right path and did indeed support her. But when it came to a time that everyone was losing their jobs, I lost mine also. I asked one thing of her and that was to keep her job. Well, as her history had proven, she didn’t keep it and wanted to find a boyfriend more than she wanted to find another job. So I moved her to her party friends house, I kept her son with me and I tried to deal with my newly experienced panic attacks at that time. I found another job after six months of searching and I remember having a panic attack in the parking garage of that job, during the panic attack, she called asking me to take her back into the house. She said some sort of drama story that she normally had but I was in shambles as I sat in my car. I don’t think I did but I think I was very close to a nervous breakdown and I just couldn’t support her and the drama any longer. It was then that I told her, I wish you nothing but good things but you cannot call me anymore. I still do wish her well but it’s my understanding that she’s the same today as she was back then. I never deny my nephew from seeing her but she doesn’t come around a lot or call him. It’s been hard to watch him learn who she is and then when he became a father, it hurt him again to see how that didn’t make any difference to her. She still will tell everyone that she has a son and a granddaughter, but she doesn’t tell anyone that her granddaughter calls her “dads mom”.  I couldn’t imagine being like that and I don’t understand it. But this is the one time that I’ve said “no more” to someone.

Is it easy for people to make up the rules as they go along? I’m not saying that everyone has to believe the same thing, who knows if I’m right, we won’t know until we face it. But how can someone live their life being happy with spreading the hardship of another person? I don’t find joy in taking someones pain and smiling while telling another person nor do I understand it. But what truly makes me question is when someone does it to their own family. If they talk about someone they don’t know, that’s wrong but if they talk about their own family, that’s wrong and horrible!

What do I do in this situation? I’ve told Louise that I don’t condone what she’s doing and that I’m embarrassed for her. She seems to be oblivious to what she’s doing or maybe she’s not and I’ve just never seen this side to her. I truly do not know what to do.


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About meinaboxblog

I like to think I'm a normal everyday woman but my mind tells me otherwise. I fight my battles and post them here. I don't tell my family and real life friends that I write here. This is my own little way of having "someone" to talk to. My own little therapy session if you will. I welcome comments and opinions but I have enough negativity to last a lifetime already . My world is changing and now more than ever I need support and encouragement but I'm still too afraid to let anyone know that it's me writing here.