I’m a bit numb this morning, a little sore throat also. When someone says that they feel like they’re on an emotional rollercoaster, do we actually connect with what they’re saying? This week I can honestly say that I do connect with that term. My emotions have run the entire list this week going from excited and nervous to downright sad and crying.
Last night as I was starting to finally calm down a little, I received a text from the realtor. He wants to see if the seller will take an offer for the owner to finance. I’ve never done that nor thought of it so it’s a bit daunting. But if this is what I have to do in order to save my granddaughter and give her a better chance at life, then I’m all for it. It’s a lot more money out of pocket to start with so I might have to sell my truck, not sure yet. That will leave us with no vehicle for her father to drive when he works there but we will have to face that when it happens.
He said he would send me papers to sign today that he will then present to the sellers’ realtor. I don’t know if they would even consider this because I’m going to have to google exactly what it means. But I’m back to being nervous and my stomach is horrible this morning. I am so jumpy it’s unbelievable!
How can we let things just take over our emotions like this? It’s not like me to do this but possibly because it means so much to me. This is not just a move for the sake of a move but a move for the sake of safety. I’m so tired of being a prisoner in our home. There are so many good memories and the new bad memories are starting to fill space in my thoughts. I don’t want bad memories to go with me but I will always remember where I came from.
Funny how I used to be so afraid of just the moving process itself, the letting go of the house because it’s where I was raised. Now, I’m simply afraid of staying and the violence that’s around us. What a change I’ve made but now that I’m ready, I’m being told no.
There’s no true direction at this point and I feel a bit lost. I’m not sure what the next step is if they don’t want this new offer.