Red Flashing Lights

As I sat in my living room late last night, red flashing lights came across the windows. No siren, no fuss, just bright red flashing lights. There has been a lot of activity at the house sitting diagonally from us on the block. They are an older couple and the wife is undergoing dialysis on a regular schedule. She was once a teacher before retiring and that is how I know her name, from my son when he was in school.

When they build their home on an empty piece of land, probably about 20 years ago now, I never thought they would last. The house doesn’t match the neighborhood as it definitely is a lot nicer and newer but I’ve not once heard of them being robbed. I think it just might be that she taught many of the young children around here. They’re quiet and keep pretty much to themselves. Their adult children are just as nice, one of the boys came out to clean up after a natural disaster we experienced. He did all the work in his fathers’ yard so that his father didn’t have to worry about it. I only knew because I was giving out Gatorade to all of us that were outside working, it’s the only thing I had at the moment.

Lately though, as I sit at work looking out my window, I’ve seen a routine visiting of medical transport and of the children coming to visit. It’s hard to see this as it brings back extremely painful memories and feelings of what we went through. It makes me wonder, did they do the same thing back then and watch as things changed for us? They never came over at that time and honestly, I don’t think I wanted anyone to come over. So this is my dilemma with how I’m feeling. When I was going through this with my mother, I had all of it on only my shoulders and the stress was so much that I didn’t want anyone to come over because it would stop me from doing what I needed to do. Without having the experience of having someone approach me during this time, I don’t know what to do now. I want to ask if I can help in any way but I see that they have a nurse there every day and she must be getting to dialysis with the transport that I see. However, I know she has taken a turn but I don’t know what to do.

My neighbor directly next to me is a pastor and they have been living there since I was about 9 years old so we are close. When my mother passed, I reached out to them and they resided over my mothers’ ceremony.  I know now that they were watching us after this happened, to make sure we were okay. I remember them asking if we were okay for Christmas with my son as it was Christmastime when it happened. Then again, when I lost my job to downsizing years later, they actually brought food and supplies to my house for Thanksgiving, everything seems to happen around the holidays here.

I haven’t seen my neighbor go over to visit but I think they have their phone number so they might have called. But I just don’t know what to do or say that might help. The thought of anyone going through that pain as I did just tears me up inside but I know it’s the way life is. I just wish I knew how to make it better for what I know they’re going to go through.

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About meinaboxblog

I like to think I'm a normal everyday woman but my mind tells me otherwise. I fight my battles and post them here. I don't tell my family and real life friends that I write here. This is my own little way of having "someone" to talk to. My own little therapy session if you will. I welcome comments and opinions but I have enough negativity to last a lifetime already . My world is changing and now more than ever I need support and encouragement but I'm still too afraid to let anyone know that it's me writing here.