It’s Not Fair

Have you ever bought a new house? Or just new to you? If you’ve read my blog before, you know that I haven’t but I’m trying to. I just want to know why is it so stressful and difficult.

Why are we made to feel less of ourselves when going through to process of finding a home and then qualifying for it? With all the questions that are asked, I feel like they do more than the secret service does. Now I know that’s not true but it just feels like it at times. Who knew that buying a house meant that you had to open up every aspect of your life for someone else’s criticism?

After giving away all of my life secrets (okay, not all), then I’m told that the house is no longer available or that the owner took someone else’s offer. So it starts almost all over again. Having to find another place and hopefully feel the same if not better about the previous one. If I don’t get the one and then end up with another, does that mean I’m settling? I don’t want to settle, I want to be happy and safe, while close to family.

With yesterday being Easter, myself and my family living with me, took the drive to spend the day with my sister. We drove by the street that one of the “potentials” sits on. But I think this one is out of my reach. It’s more expensive, not by much but I think it puts it a little bit out of my grasp. I did make a gofundme page but there has been zero activity on it. I don’t want to put my families picture on it because, well, it’s been so embarrassing as it is with what we’ve been through.

I go back to describing it as a rollercoaster of emotions that just never stops. I am hopeful at times while I hit a horrible low at other times. This cannot be good for my health and I need to figure it out one way or another. Today, hopefully, I will hear back from a lender and see if my hard work has paid off any and if they can help. The last one said we needed more money down but I don’t have it. I’m just trying to save my family and not have my granddaughter grow up where she has to be afraid. Why do people trying to do good things seem to have the hardest time? It just doesn’t feel fair sometimes that I work so hard and yet people in “power” still say I’m not good enough. It’s just not fair.

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About meinaboxblog

I like to think I'm a normal everyday woman but my mind tells me otherwise. I fight my battles and post them here. I don't tell my family and real life friends that I write here. This is my own little way of having "someone" to talk to. My own little therapy session if you will. I welcome comments and opinions but I have enough negativity to last a lifetime already . My world is changing and now more than ever I need support and encouragement but I'm still too afraid to let anyone know that it's me writing here.