The last few days have been really hard health wise. My panic attacks have been coming in strong and plenty. They’ve been feeling like when I first started to get them and that has been a while. With me, it’s not so much as a feeling of death but of straight doom and not knowing what the doom is.
With these attacks, my brain with all its capabilities, will pick on other parts of my body and make me think that a little twinge is something life threatening and it doesn’t let go. I went to my regular physician the other day and he said I’m healthy, except for being overweight. Even knowing what he said, my brain is still telling me that I have something that is going to kill me.
If anything good is going to come of this, it’s the fact that I’m scheduling doctor appointments that I’ve been putting off for a while. When I started having panic attacks, they gave me a full cardiac workup and I’m supposed to follow up with the doctor every six months since my mother had a heart condition. I haven’t seen him in about a year and a half, and now I have an appointment. Now I’m trying to get my mammogram scheduled too. I have two benign tumors in my breasts that are supposed to be monitored but it’s also been a really long time since I’ve had a checkup. The tumors can hurt so that’s probably what is triggering me. So, I’m taking the car into the shop so to say.
Maybe if I can get multiple specialists to tell me that I’m okay, I can at least put those words into my brain. I hope then, I will be able to get these attacks under control again and keep moving forward.