It’s been a little over a week since starting a new medication for how I’m feeling. I’ve only been on my “emergency” medication for a long time and now we’ve added another one in to help with the between emergency times. The first few days were unbelievable, I had energy and the motivation to get things done, I haven’t felt like that in forever. However, I think it’s something that builds up in your system so your body gets used to it because the effect, while still somewhat there, has dimmed a little.
Maybe it’s because I’m used to the feeling now? The heavy, dark feeling isn’t there anymore but the enthusiasm that the medicine gave me at first isn’t quite there either. I wish that feeling would stay longer so that it would become a habit or something. But the few days that I had it were wonderful.
I’m trying to figure out what to do in the other parts of my life. I wonder if working from home is adding to how I feel. Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful being able to work from home and it saves on gas and clothing (not that I bought a lot of clothes before). However, being inside all the time with no excuse to go anywhere could be adding to it. We’ve gone for a few walks outside but when I get off of work, it’s dinner time and sometimes already too dark to go walking so we’re stuck in the house or have to take a drive in the car to get out, that’s still not walking though.
I don’t know if getting an outside job would help but then when we finally get to where we can move, I would have to pick up and leave again and then find another job there. I wish I could just quiet my mind from all of these thoughts, that’s the one thing I know would help but how does someone even attempt to do that. There is always something going through my mind, even if it’s planning dinner. Why won’t my brain shut up!