Tension In The Air

My brother-in law checks into the hospital this morning but his surgery is tomorrow. I have to work a 10 hour day today then will sleep a few hours before getting back up to make the three hour drive. I’m not sure what time they will take him in but I want to make sure and get there to see him beforehand. Like I’ve said before, he’s more of a brother to me so I want to be there. I will be picking up his daughter along the way so we will have time to catch up for part of the drive.

I am worried about my sister too because I know he is her world and vice-a-versa so hopefully I can be what she needs tomorrow. With her in-laws coming, I’m not sure how the air is going to be since we don’t really get along with them. They just remind me of people looking for situations that benefit them only and they’ve been that way ever since I’ve known them. My fathers father was like that, him and his new wife. I was 7 years old when my father passed but I remember them coming for the funeral. We were not allowed to call her grammy or grandmother or anything that would mean family, only by her last name. I found out years later that they had an insurance policy on my father and needed proof that he had passed. Meanwhile they left my mother, 32 years old with seven children, with none of the insurance money that they collected. I never spoke to him after that and in the years before his passing I think he had remorse as two of my sisters spoke to him. I don’t have any regrets of not speaking to that person because of the choices he decided to make. For someone who left children without food, I have no pity for and don’t want to take part in making them feel better before they pass.

So I guess I see this in my brother-in-laws family and I hate it. Yes, hate is a strong word but it’s appropriate here. I have zero tolerance for someone that is only out for themselves no matter who is in the way. They even went so far as to take money from another sons business in order to stay at a resort for vacation, without the son knowing. It just doesn’t make sense to me that they can do this and not feel any guilt whatsoever. How do you sit in the same room with these kind of people? I told my sister that I would be her “bouncer” because she has already said that she is the only one going in when the doctor comes out. She’s worried that her in-laws will try to push their way through.

I’m going to do the best I can but I’m still wondering how weird it’s going to be sitting in the room with them. We’re hoping they don’t bring any children with them as she always seems to have her other sons children with her. The other son though we know was on drugs for a while but there’s always been a mother and father there and still she has their children with her. It’s weird, like the parents don’t even parent them but I think it’s because she choses to have the kids sometimes as she lavishes them with gifts and things. She never does that for my brother-in-laws children, not even when they were little, never did. It’s like he doesn’t exist to her unless she wants something. Can you tell how much I don’t care for these people?

I just heard from my sister and they are checking into the hospital, he has to be there a day before because of some of the meds he’s on for his blood pressure. If you’re reading this, would you mind saying a few prayers for him or just good thoughts if need be? I truly appreciate it.

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About meinaboxblog

I like to think I'm a normal everyday woman but my mind tells me otherwise. I fight my battles and post them here. I don't tell my family and real life friends that I write here. This is my own little way of having "someone" to talk to. My own little therapy session if you will. I welcome comments and opinions but I have enough negativity to last a lifetime already . My world is changing and now more than ever I need support and encouragement but I'm still too afraid to let anyone know that it's me writing here.