Distance is Disturbing

It’s muggy outside and rain today is going to be spotty, so just to add to the moisture that will already stick to your body. The birds are taking advantage of the rain stopping for a moment and are feeding on the food outside. The baby woodpecker is becoming a pro at feeding on the cage that we have out. She will sit there for about three or so minutes just feeding and looking around before one of the parents come down and get her to move.

My son and granddaughter are back home and the house is once again alive. Being here without them was weird when I truly thought it might be a bit relaxing. The cats were glad to see them come through the door and then right away wanted more food in their bowls. I guess no matter what happens in your own life, the world just has it’s way of continuing on.

Yesterday I was able to visit with my sister and her husband. He is home and trying to recouperate from the stroke. They will schedule his third surgery when his neck is not so swollen. While he was in the hospital, it was hard to see how the stroke had affected him because he didn’t have that much room to move around. But seeing him at home where I’m used to seeing him, I can truly tell what has changed. Although his speech doesn’t seem to be affected, he was more quiet than normal and his walking is definitely different. His balance is thrown off at times and sometimes he seems as though he could completely fall down. He won’t give up trying though as it was a bit comical seeing my sister chase him around the yard as he seemed to speed walking. He’s got really long legs so he walked fast before but now he seems to have sped up a little as he tries to get back to “normal”. There’s a definite plodding motion now and that has to due with the numbness in his left foot but I didn’t ask too many questions.

My granddaughter had never slept away from home before but had always asked to stay the night with her cousin that lives up there. We always had to say no because of the distance but this made her (and his) dream come true. They had three nights of cousin bliss together but at the ages of 4 and 5, that magic doesn’t last too long. They seem to have a pattern of love you, missed you, lets’s play, hate you, sorry, let’s play. Then when it’s time to go, it’s all out tears and I can’t live without them fits. But once in the car, she soon changed to wanting something to eat and drink for the ride home so it was nicer, not counting the rain.

I don’t know when we’ll get back up there but it will probably be for the next surgery. I want everything to go well for them but I can’t tell the future and sometimes the future scares me. I pray for him and her because I can’t imagine one being without the other. My only wish was that we lived closer and even though I’m trying, nothing seems to be happening. I wish I could be there more for them.

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About meinaboxblog

I like to think I'm a normal everyday woman but my mind tells me otherwise. I fight my battles and post them here. I don't tell my family and real life friends that I write here. This is my own little way of having "someone" to talk to. My own little therapy session if you will. I welcome comments and opinions but I have enough negativity to last a lifetime already . My world is changing and now more than ever I need support and encouragement but I'm still too afraid to let anyone know that it's me writing here.