Not Giving Up

We had a nice time visiting with my brother on Sunday. It’s amazing the difference that a few weeks can make. He was talking like he normally would and was even walking around without anyone chasing him to make sure he didn’t fall over. Seems that he might be having anxiety over driving though.

Where they live and I long to live, they don’t have “garbage service” that comes to your house and picks up your garbage at the curbside. They have to drive and take their garbage to a facility a few miles away. He seems to be able to do that but when my sister had a doctors appointment for herself, he thought he could drive and so he tried. He ended up having to pull over when more than a few cars were on the road. He thinks he’s ready to go back to work but if he can’t drive then I don’t know.

I remember that feeling of being scared to drive but mine was after a car accident where I was hit by a drunk driver. I remember my older brother sitting on my sisters front steps and telling me that if I didn’t get back behind the wheel then I never would. So I forced myself and I did a bit of “white knuckle” driving for a while but I got over it. I still have nervous feelings in high volume traffic but not like that used to be. Everyday I pray that he gets back to where he needs to be, yet he still has one more surgery to go.

My sister is asking me more and more when will we be able to move up there. Not just because of all of this lately but because she knows that the kids need to be together also in order to support one another. My son and granddaughter don’t stand a chance where we are and if something were to happen to me, I just don’t know what they would do.

I’m honestly about $5000 away from making a difference in whether we can move or not. I’ve still been keeping in touch with lenders and this is what he’s telling me lately. We’re so close that I’ve put up a Gofundme account. I appreciate that someone has donated $5 because every little bit adds up. I don’t know if it will make a difference but this time I’ve put a picture on there of my son and granddaughter, maybe if someone sees who it’s really affecting, it might help.

Sometimes I feel very helpless while other times I feel like I can do anything. It’s weird sort of off an on but I’ll take it as long as I get that feeling of being able to do it, once in a while instead of never.  I’m looking for a second job to add to what we need to move but finding another work from home that I can do with noise in the background is near impossible. I won’t give up though.

If you wouldn’t mind sharing it or even if you have $5 to add to it, that would so great and if you’ve been reading my blog for a little while then you know just how much this means to me and my family. I truly thank you for forwarding or helping out.


Help to Move

If even $5 that will make a big difference.



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About meinaboxblog

I like to think I'm a normal everyday woman but my mind tells me otherwise. I fight my battles and post them here. I don't tell my family and real life friends that I write here. This is my own little way of having "someone" to talk to. My own little therapy session if you will. I welcome comments and opinions but I have enough negativity to last a lifetime already . My world is changing and now more than ever I need support and encouragement but I'm still too afraid to let anyone know that it's me writing here.