Praying So Hard

Oh my goodness! I am in shock today and I don’t know how long it takes to wear off. We are buying a house. It turns out that my older brother is selling his house and moving closer to work so we are going to buy his house and land from him. It never dawned on me that he wanted to move and it just came up in conversation.

The school zone is right where we were looking to be albeit a bit more in the woods than I was hoping but it’s growing up out there so I don’t think it will be so alone for that much longer. It’s a huge difference in the convenience of shopping and entertainment but we really don’t do movie theaters or sit down dinners outside of the house anyway. We do eat some drive throughs to bring home but that will stop and I don’t mind that either, nor will my waistline.

But I was just praying not to have to go through another cold and freezing winter in this house again and then it happened. I think we were deterred from the other houses just for this to happen. There is a lot of work that needs to be done, he kind of let it go after the divorce so it’s been him and his three dogs (you have to have a dog out there and I think a gun too). But once we get it all set, there will be plenty of room for my granddaughter to play. I can’t believe we can actually get a swing set! I wonder, is six years old too old for a swing set? Just the thought of her being able to play outside makes me get emotional.

He said that they do get wild animals and that is why you have to have a dog out there. My two sisters live just 15 minutes down the road so I know I would see them way more than I do now. Even though they will visit and we will visit, it’s a huge difference than where we are now. No loud booming cars driving down the road at 2 am. They have gunshots but that’s from people hunting so I’ll have to get used to not hearing deliberate shooting at other people. As it is now, I sit and watch out my bedroom window while working. I watch each and ever person that walks or drives down the street because I just don’t trust anyone. Our house was burglarized during the day so it’s completely believable that it can still happen again. Not being in fear of a drive-by will be something to get used to but then I’ll have to get used to looking for animals too.

I kept saying I wasn’t going to get a dog but I think it’s necessity out there. We would definitely have to start with a puppy so that they grow up my with granddaughter. My brother right now has a German Sheppard who I thought was going to tear through the door when we got there and then he has to “ankle biters” that were super cute. My sister that lives near by there, she has a mix that she adopted from the shelter, part bloodhound and part ridgeback and she’s adorable. I think we’ll end up going to the same shelter that they did.

This sister has truly been amazing to me and my family. She’s been there through my panic attacks and they have dropped what they’re doing (even called into work) when I went into the hospital a few years ago, just to be there. She’s been with me every step of the house hunt and even gone to check out property up there if I asked. They’re now offering to help us with the clean up so that we can move in faster, I just don’t know what I would do without the two of them (she and her husband).

I’m just praying and keeping good thoughts that this is going to work out and is exactly what we need to do. I’m scared to death but I’m excited also. I’m praying so hard that this is what we need.

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About meinaboxblog

I like to think I'm a normal everyday woman but my mind tells me otherwise. I fight my battles and post them here. I don't tell my family and real life friends that I write here. This is my own little way of having "someone" to talk to. My own little therapy session if you will. I welcome comments and opinions but I have enough negativity to last a lifetime already . My world is changing and now more than ever I need support and encouragement but I'm still too afraid to let anyone know that it's me writing here.