Circus?

The day after tomorrow, I will invite a stranger into my house. I can’t say a complete stranger as we’ve been corresponding by email for what we figure is eight months now. That’s been how long she’s wanted to buy my house. It’s been a long and nervous road for me as you might remember from previous posts, but we’ve come to the final stretch I think, or at least around the corner from it.

I think having the right smell when she walks in is important, so I bought a roast to put in the crock pot and will start it that morning. Is that crazy? But doesn’t the smell of a hearty meal cooking make you just think of home? I’m thinking that would help set the tone as a good one. Is this wrong?

Cleaning has been the agenda for the past few days, we keep pretty clean but you never realize how much you accumulate over the years. Then when you move things that you have, you realize just how long it’s been since you cleaned under or around it. We have thrown out so much stuff, I had no idea we had all of that. However the local junk man and a few others have been really happy as I’ve seen things just be taken out of the trash by people.

It’s going to be a tight timeline and I keep running it through my head just hoping that it’s all going to work out. I’m so nervous about it all that it’s making my physically ill. The other day, I had a panic attack unlike I’ve had in a long time. It then proceeded to start again the next morning and I had to take more medicine, I felt like a walking zombie with it and I didn’t like it at all. But I was able to get through work, zombie and all so that worked out for the best I guess.

Today is another long day of work but tomorrow being Tuesday, will be the day to focus on my room and put the finishing touches as best I can on the rest of the house. Of course we have to figure out how to show her my room when we plan on having my two diva cats in there while she’s here. Not even my sister gets to pet them because they are not too friendly with people they don’t know. With living so far away from family, my cats don’t know my family except for my son and granddaughter so they don’t pet them when they visit either.

I just hope that Wednesday isn’t a circus, I do hope she has a nice visit and I hope she’s as friendly in person as she seems in her emails and on the phone. But then again I hope she doesn’t stay too long either, I’m not sure how my nerves are going to hold up. I know I’m going to cry and I’ve already warned my sister, she’s going to come down and be with me for this.

Could I ask for a few friendly thoughts to help get through this week? You don’t have to post or comment, just in your thoughts would be nice and I’d really appreciate it.

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About meinaboxblog

I like to think I'm a normal everyday woman but my mind tells me otherwise. I fight my battles and post them here. I don't tell my family and real life friends that I write here. This is my own little way of having "someone" to talk to. My own little therapy session if you will. I welcome comments and opinions but I have enough negativity to last a lifetime already . My world is changing and now more than ever I need support and encouragement but I'm still too afraid to let anyone know that it's me writing here.