Change is A’Coming

Four weeks away from our moving date and it’s really become real now. I’ve been crying off and on and my panic attacks have picked up but I think that’s due to the stress of it all. It’s been a lot of work so far and I know it’s just going to be harder before it gets better.

We went back up yesterday to clean up the property where we’re moving and get it ready to move in, it still needs a few more weekends before it’s completely ready (clean enough) to move in. But we got a bit of rain so outside work became inside work and that was okay with me. I had prepared and brought my bleach with me so I did a bit of the kitchen while my son tackled one of the bedrooms. For some reason, the prior son that had lived there thought he could move a foam filled chair by emptying it out. It was like a bean bag chair but stuffed with pieces of foam instead of little beads. The son had it all over the floor, it was amazing how much foam was in there! My son actually took a shovel and scooped it up into a trash can and that’s how he found the floor!

The previous owner had multiple dogs so there is fur everywhere we turn, there’s still so much to do but we made a lot of headway yesterday. If I have the gas for next week then we’ll go up again and do more. There’s a lot of stuff that has to be done after we move in but I at least want it as clean as I can get it before we have to move in.

Did I tell you that it’s literally in the middle of the woods? There are no neighbors on any side of us, you have to drive down the “street” to get to your nearest neighbor so I am going to have to buy a gun. I think I’ll actually get two, a shotgun and a smaller one to carry while doing yard work. I’ve been told that they have bears, bobcats, wild pigs and of course raccoons and smaller things like that. Snakes are a definite out there as well as a million frogs that I can’t stand. So we’ll also be getting a dog ourselves. I don’t know how my cats are going to take to a dog but we’ll have to start with it being a puppy so that it can grow up with my granddaughter.

There’s so much to do that you almost stand back and just wonder where to start. But my one sister is helping to try and keep me calm and her husband is doing all he can to help too but he can’t do what he used to do before so he’ll be teaching my son a lot of things of how to repair.

Today is going to be hard though, I have a little truck that I’ve had since I bought in back in 2003. It is the last vehicle that my mom rode in with me and even though people have asked to buy it, I’ve never let it go. I don’t drive it much now so it has a bit of a rough start to it but it still runs and we’re thinking it will come in handy now that we’ll have to take our trash to the dump as they do not do garbage service where we’re going. But my sister and her husband said they will come down today and he will drive it up to their place for me so that I don’t have to worry about trying to tow it there when we move. I am worried about it making it, I haven’t driven it that far in a long time. But also, looking out my window and not seeing it, I just don’t know how that’s going to feel. I just know I’m going to cry when they leave with it, oh my goodness, I’m starting to tear up now just thinking about it.

It’s all steps to what we have to do anyway and I know it’s for the better, but I hate change. I also hate being in my house and freezing like we do in the winter so I think my wanting to move outweighs my fear of change.

Yesterday, my young nephew (my nieces son), he’s four but said something so wonderful. He said to my sister because he was too shy to tell me, he told her to tell me that we take our memories with us.  He is right and sometimes the words of children are the most honest and truthful so we should listen to them.

I’ll cry today but it’s okay.

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About meinaboxblog

I like to think I'm a normal everyday woman but my mind tells me otherwise. I fight my battles and post them here. I don't tell my family and real life friends that I write here. This is my own little way of having "someone" to talk to. My own little therapy session if you will. I welcome comments and opinions but I have enough negativity to last a lifetime already . My world is changing and now more than ever I need support and encouragement but I'm still too afraid to let anyone know that it's me writing here.