Blessed

I find myself with a little time at night that I can be here. Getting home after dinner time doesn’t leave much time for anything except to eat and then go to sleep. I do make sure to spend time with my grand baby but then she’s got to go to bed earlier than I do so it’s a little hard, I miss her.

Even though I miss out on family time, I am blessed that someone finally hired me. It’s not a lot of money but it’s way better than nothing. Right now I’m trying to balance the bills so that I can try and get caught up. The paycheck isn’t big enough to pay everything at once but I’m thinking that I can break it down into smaller payments during the month, if I can get caught up first. Has anyone else ever done that?

The people that I work with are very nice but I have to say, no one there has a clue how to train someone. I’ve been doing my best to find everything and anything that I can in order to learn. I’m still terrified that no matter how much I try, it’s not going to be good enough and I’m going to mess up. It doesn’t help that I’m the oldest one there, not that anyone makes it an issue, just how it feels.

I’m stretching every penny that I get, they gave us a ham for Easter and I’ve made sandwiches all week and ham and eggs for breakfast. I can’t wait to get caught up and know that the bills are paid. Does there ever come a time when you don’t worry? Maybe if it weren’t just me paying the bills. I don’t place any hard feelings on my son because he really can’t do anything until my grand goes to physical school next year. He’s her teacher right now and we had to do that before we moved because it wasn’t safe. Maybe it will be better when there are two paychecks coming in, just have to get there.

I was  hoping to be able to afford a movie this weekend, they actually have a drive in movie theater here. When I was little it was such a treat to get to go to the drive in, then they closed it down. I can’t wait to get to go with the kids. I want to give them memories like I have, mind you my memories are nothing to do with money but with family and experiences with family. That’s what I want them to have, good simple family memories.

With tonight being Friday, I do take peace in knowing that I can go to bed without setting the alarm but I’m also thankful that I have to do that on Sunday night. I am thankful, I am blessed and even though it’s hard, I know I am blessed.

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About meinaboxblog

I like to think I'm a normal everyday woman but my mind tells me otherwise. I fight my battles and post them here. I don't tell my family and real life friends that I write here. This is my own little way of having "someone" to talk to. My own little therapy session if you will. I welcome comments and opinions but I have enough negativity to last a lifetime already . My world is changing and now more than ever I need support and encouragement but I'm still too afraid to let anyone know that it's me writing here.